Published in Israel Hayom, August 9, 2012. Click here for a printer-friendly copy.

It’s absolutely astonishing how one man can be responsible for so much misery. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: He’s at fault.

It is Bibi’s fault that Israel failed to win any medals at the summer Olympics, for the first time since the 1988 Seoul Games. So says Kadima MKs Ronit Tirosh and Marina Solodkin, so say newspaper editorialists, and so says just about every commentator on the airwaves over the past two days since windsurfer Lee Korzits blew Israel’s last hope for a medal. Netanyahu should have invested more money in Israel’s athletes, they say.

The audacious terror attack from Sinai on Sunday is also Netanyahu’s fault. The cutoff of Egyptian gas supply which is driving up our electricity bills is his fault too. Each of the 17 (so far) bombings of the Egypt-Israel gas pipeline can be pinned on Netanyahu. Islamic Jihadists running freely amok in Sinai aren’t responsible, but rather Netanyahu. Don’t forget the “Mossad-inspired” shark attacks in the Red Sea last year. Needless to say, Bibi triggered them too.

That Haredim are not serving in the Israeli army is Netanyahu’s fault. The fact no Labor- or Kadima-led government over the past 60 years did anything to arrest the mushrooming phenomenon of Haredi non-service, nor did they ever make a serious effort to amend the status quo in place since 1948 and to draft the Haredim – well, that’s not relevant. The responsibility for Haredi draft-dodging lies solely with Netanyahu.

Bibi is to blame for the fire last summer in the Carmel Mountains. We never had any forest fires before Netanyahu. The same goes for this summer’s heat wave. Bibi is making us sweat. The resulting spike in the prices of fruits and vegetables and the overripe grapes that have to be harvested much earlier than usual – they are Netanyahu’s fault, without a doubt.

Tel Aviv air pollution is also Netanyahu’s fault, according to a serious study plastered yesterday across a full page in Haaretz. Technically, 33 percent of this pollution comes from industry, 24 percent from non-environmentally-friendly forms of electricity production, 25 percent from transportation, and 22 from quarrying. But overall and in principle, it is all Bibi’s fault. If you don’t believe me, go read that paper. This week, it also blamed obesity in Israeli psychiatric facilities on the Netanyahu government. Really.

The wave of terrible drowning of children in the Galilee and Mediterranean seas that we’ve witnessed this week has to be laid at Netanyahu’s doorstep. Unfortunately, such tragedies occur every August when kids are on vacation. We just didn’t know until now that this really is Bibi’s fault too.

The same goes for that basketball hoop which fell on and crushed poor 15-year Alon Ronen in a Tel Aviv schoolyard this week. Alon was, after all, dreaming of qualifying for a future Olympics, says his father. And as is well known, Netanyahu is not providing enough money for Olympic preparation. So Netanyahu should be tried, convicted, tarred, feathered and more for this tragedy. If only Netanyahu had invested more money in Israel’s schools and their infrastructures, and in Israel’s aspiring sportsmen….

There’s no peace with the Palestinians because of Netanyahu, right? Never mind that Israel is prepared to resume negotiations without conditions (unlike the Palestinians), and that the Palestinian Authority runs around the world seeking to demonize and delegitimize Netanyahu and to ram through unilateral recognition of its “statehood.” Nevertheless, the onus is on Netanyahu.

The chemical and biological weapons that may spring loose as Bashar Assad’s regime collapses in Syria must be hung on Netanyahu’s head too. All that sarin and mustard gas, VX nerve agent, anthrax germs, botulinum and ricin biological toxins, and the thousands of aerial bombs and hundreds of missiles which can deliver these weapons. Why didn’t Netanyahu do anything about these weapons until now?!

Mind you, if Netanyahu orders the IDF to act against Syrian weapons depots or to interdict the transfer of WMD arsenals to Hezbollah, left-wing elites will accuse Netanyahu of inflaming the situation and precipitating a broader regional conflict. Either way, it’s Bibi’s fault. He is simply irresponsible and unreliable. Always has been and always will be.

Have you heard about typhoons Haikui, Saola and Damrey which battered China this week? Bibi’s fault, of course.

My point is this: It’s silly and nasty season, and with no serious leadership to offer of its own, the political opposition has taken to ridiculously faulting Netanyahu for the most far-fetched ills of this world. All the blaming of Bibi Netanyahu ought to be taken with a gigantic grain of salt.