What to do with the Terrorist Trawler

By: David M. Weinberg

Jun 25, 2010

 
 
 

The Mavi Marmara

The Mavi Marmara. Might Israel soon have a fleet of such hateful "humanitarian attack" craft?

The Mavi Marmara still docks in Ashdod, and other ships are on the way from Iran and Lebanon to similarly challenge Israel. Israel may yet end up with a flotilla of “humanitarian attack” craft in its ports. What are we going to do with all these boats? Here are ten things Israel could usefully do with the first, trailblazing terrorist trawler.

The Turkish groups behind the first hate-Israel flotilla fear being labeled terrorist organizations if they claim ownership of the Mavi Maramara. That means that we, Israel, get to do what we want with the infamous ship, a Trojan/Turkish Horse if there ever was one.

Here are ten things Israel could usefully do with the terrorist trawler:

1. Load it with humanitarian supplies (and perhaps a few weapons too) for the persecuted Armenians and downtrodden Kurds, and set sail for their oppressor, Turkey. In Mersin, Marmaris and Antalya we can unload all the wheelchairs, Band-Aids, chocolate, baby toys, slingshots, electric steel-cutting saws, knives and other peaceful goods donated by peace-loving Israelis. While we’re at it, in each city we can set up an expansive traveling museum exhibit on the Armenian genocide and the inalienable rights of the Kurdish people to independent statehood.

2. Rename it the “Gilad Shalit” and load it up with 500 or more Hamas terrorists in Israeli prisons. Anchor the boat off the coast of Gaza under heavy guard, with no food and no visits from the Red Cross or media. Tell the Hamas that they can have their terrorist buddies and the ship too, if Gilad Shalit is freed. Wait them out.

3. Rename it the “Exodus” and set sail for the Iranian ports of Bandar-Abbas, Bushehr and Imam Khomeini in order to force the release of Iran’s remaining Jews. With a sufficient media pool, a high-profile inter-faith delegation, and a smattering of Nobel laureates aboard, we should be able to embarrass the clerics of Teheran into ending their blockade against Jewish emigration. While visiting Bushehr, we could also take a tour of the nuclear reactor, to see up-close, first-hand, how the Iranians are producing peaceful medical isotopes there.

4. Rebrand the ship as the “Karine B”, and together with the “Karine A” launch an Israeli flotilla for peace. Sail our armada into Jeddah, Ras Tanura or Kuwait City broadcasting messages of reconciliation and democracy. “Kol HaShalom” will broadcast from the ship into every home in the Persian Gulf. News broadcasts will spotlight Israel’s academic, cultural and high-tech successes, alongside reports on genocide, racism, discrimination, slavery, terrorism, and anti-Semitism in the Arab and Moslem worlds.

5. Christen the cruise ship as the “HMS Ariel Sharon” and turn it into a long-term residence for the homeless refugees of Gush Katif, who were dragged out of their homes for the sake of peace with Gaza, a process called “disengagement” … which led to the rise of Hamas in Gaza … which led to Operation Cast Lead and the Israeli blockade … which led to the flotilla … which led to the Israeli naval raid … which led to the sorry current situation — which is why we have this wonderful boat anchored in Ashdod in the first place. I’m sure that the forgotten Gush Katif refugees will appreciate the gesture. It certainly doesn’t look like they are going to get permanent housing any other way.

6. Ask Cyril Keren, Martin Schlaf, Gilad and Omri Sharon, Shimon Sheves, and Dov Weisglass to “do a Jericho” for us: Turn the Mavi Marmara into a casino boat for the pleasure of Israelis – especially now that it is no longer pleasant to travel to the casinos in Turkey. Kadima and Labor party members can have preferential access and VIP privileges.

7. Turn it into a school for Ultra-Orthodox Sephardic girls rejected by the Slonim Hasidim in Emmanuel. Better yet, move the Slonimers onto the boat…

8. Anchor the boat off the shores of Tel Aviv, and use it for bar mitzvah parties for the children and grandchildren of people like Judge Goldstone and other high foreign officials who seek to mark the traditional Jewish year of passage into adulthood without having to have security outside a synagogue or at the Western Wall.

9. Sell the boat to cover the health expenses of our wounded naval commandoes and to buy better (paintball?) guns for the IDF. Alternatively, we could cut the boat up into pieces and sell chunks on EBay as souvenirs, in order to fund psychological rehabilitation for the PTSD-afflicted youth of Sderot.

10. Demonstratively sink the boat just outside the territorial waters of Turkey (in “international waters”) to protest world hubris, hypocrisy and hostility to Israel. Just blow it up.

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About David Weinberg

David M. Weinberg is a spokesman, speechwriter, columnist and lobbyist who is a sharp critic of Israel’s detractors and of post-Zionist trends in Israel. Read more »


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A passionate speaker, David M. Weinberg lectures widely in Israel, the U.S. and Canada to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences. He speaks on international politics and Middle East strategic affairs, Israeli diplomacy and defense strategy, intelligence matters and more. Click here to book David Weinberg as a speaker.


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